IELTS Writing 7 - Task 1

IELTS Tip

Don't include data in your conclusion - it is a summary of the trends shown in the whole graph, and you do not need to repeat specific information.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

IELTS Diagram

Candidate answer

The graph shows people using new music places on the Internet in fifteen days period of time namely personal choice and trendy pop music.

The overall trend shows fluctuation with slight Increased towards the end of the period.

Starting with Music Choice websites; 40,000 people went on this new site on first-day. Half of them backed out the next day. In Contrast to this Pop Parade net sites were visited by 120,000 music lovers on day one which decreased slightly on the next day thereafter regaining the same fame on 3rd day.

After 3rd day the enthusiasm for both music lines on Internet dropped slowly- reaching maximum fall of 40,000 on 7th day. Whereas Music choice gained popularity, slightly Improving to get the original strength of 30,000 viewers on screen, but was getting still less visitors than their opponent Pop group i.e. 40,000 on day 7.

In the beginning of the next week both gained remarkable recovery after a few fluctuations for 8th and 9th day having 40,000 and 50,000 visitors respectively, reaching to their peaks of one and a half thousand new viewers for Pop Parade on 11th day showing a contrast of very few people visiting Music choice for the same day. Thereafter Music choice gained popularity on 12th day for having more than 120,000 new visitors on web.

In the end of the period Pop sites were visited by maximum viewers of 180,000 whereas sites located to Music choice were not explored by more than 80,000 explorers on the last day of the report.

(257 words)

Examiner's comments

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

Well organized with some good linking devices and collocations (gain popularity, remarkable recovery, decrease slightly) and some valid comparison of the music sites. However, some sentences are long and confusing (paragraph 5), some collocations are inaccurate (slight increased, reaching to their peaks) and there is some repetition (7th day, 3rd day, 11th day).