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IELTS Writing Sample #157

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past.

Do you agree or disagree?

Write at least 250 words.

Writing Tip

In IELTS Writing Task 2, you might be asked to read a statement and state whether you agree or disagree with the opinion. Of course, you may only partly agree with it. You must explain your point of view and give reasons for it.

Model answer

Look at the words or phrases in capitals. Choose the word or phrase which sounds more formal. Rewrite the final paragraph in a more formal style.

People who SAY/ARGUE that nowadays parents give less attention to their children than in the past are FREQUENTLY/OFTEN looking back to a SHORT/BRIEF period of time in the twentieth century when MOTHERS/MUMS in middle-class families REMAINED/STAYED at home to look after their children. What these people are SUGGESTING/SAYING is that women nowadays should not go out to work.

THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS THAT/ACTUALLY in MOST/THE MAJORITY OF families in the past both parents worked MUCH LONGER HOURS/MORE than they do nowadays. What has changed is that now in most countries their children ATTEND/GO TO school rather than also working themselves. In that sense they may SEE LESS OF/HAVE LESS CONTACT WITH their parents.

Nowadays, as a result of ACQUIRING AN EDUCATION/GOING TO SCHOOL, children come into contact with teachers who NATURALLY/OF COURSE have to explain why some of their students are failing. What teachers come up with are LOTS OF/FREQUENT stories of parents who are SIMPLY/JUST too busy for their CHILDREN/KIDS. And IF CHILDREN ARE NOT SUPERVISED BY THEIR PARENTS/IF PARENTS DONíT KEEP AN EYE ON THEIR CHILDREN, they will often DO BADLY/UNDERPERFORM at school. However, FAILURE AT SCHOOL/ACADEMIC FAILURE is nothing new even when one or both parents are at home. If children ARE NEGLECTED/DONíT HAVE ATTENTION GIVEN TO THEM by their parents, they will suffer.

I guess children probably had more problems in the past when they and their parents had to work non-stop just to get by. These days, the law looks after children and they can go to school, so children have lots more chances than they ever had before.

In my opinion, children probably suffered more in the past when the whole family was obliged to work long hours just to survive. Nowadays children are protected by the law. Moreover access to education means that they have greater opportunities than ever before.

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